Overcoming Fear - The Sure Way to Success

Fear is the biggest roadblock that stops you on your road to success. Overcoming fear must be the first and most important goal for your success in life.

Fear is the biggest roadblock that stops you on your road to success. Overcoming fear must be the first and most important goal for your success in life.

Fear is not something to be avoided totally. It is useful in some ways- makes you cautious, to be careful about the consequences of your actions and happenings in your surroundings. It makes you more alert. But when fear exceeds limits or goes out of control, it hampers our activities.

Overcoming fear involves controlling it. Some can manage and control fear better than others.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear. Not absence of fear
-Mark Twain

From where did we get these fears?

You acquired or learnt them at some point of your life. Some fears were picked up from parents, friends or anyone on the street.

For example, during my childhood, children were not allowed to go anywhere with in a hundred yards from a human dead body. This fear was embedded into children so deeply, we were so scared to even think of a dead body. This ‘dead body’ fear stayed with me until I was 10. Parents should have taught us the opposite- living humans are harmful, not the dead ones!

But there can be other fears that won’t go that easy and are more harmful to our future.

Do you have certain goals set to get what you want? Are you able to proceed satisfactorily towards your goals? Are you happy with the progress?

You are fortunate or lucky if you told ‘yes’ to all the questions. But many of us are not. Something stops them in their tracks at different stages of their journey. That is fear.

I had seen five types of fear in workplace during my career. I have drawn examples from my personal life and work-life. Keep overcoming fear as one of you primary goals:

• Fear of failure. Fear of commitment is associated with fear of failure.

• Fear of success

• Fear of rejection and ridicule. Even though they are related to the fear of failure, fear of rejection and ridicule can exist independently.

• Fear of the unknown

• Fear of public performance

You may be held back by any one or a combination of them.

We can't fear the past. Fear is a future thing. And since the future's all in our heads, fear must be a head thing.
-Tom Payne

Overcoming Fear of Failure

Fear of failure prevents people from trying because, their thinking goes in a negative direction- “If I succeed, it is fine. If I fail, what do people think? Let me not take that risk. I am fine as I am and where I am.”

So, he stays where he was. He attempts and does only that, which he is sure of completing. He is sure of completing because, he had done the same thing or similar things many times before. So, he will not attempt to do anything new and stays ordinary. Thus he achieves very small fraction of what he is capable of.

But if the initial fear is conquered, things start looking better and he is on his way to success.

You have to just do it. The guys- your colleagues and friends- who are enjoying the things you are scared of, are not from another planet.
You too can do things. The only difference is- they are not afraid of failure. They don’t get depressed and brood over it when they make a mistake.

The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything. Do not be afraid to make mistakes providing you do not make the same one twice.
-Theodore Roosevelt

Don’t be afraid that people will ridicule you if you make a mistake. There is very less chance of it. A small percentage may be there waiting ridicule you- remember, this small fraction of people will anyway sneer whether you succeed or fail. They want to see you fail and do their best to achieve that. Ignore them.

Learn from the mistakes and carry on, but don’t carry on the mistakes. Mistakes are your stepping stones. Make sure you don’t commit the same mistake again.

Overcoming Fear of Failure allows you to take up new and challenging things.

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.
-Elbert Hubbard

Overcoming Fear of Success

People fear success because it demands change. It comes with new responsibilities and new challenges. You need to deal with new situations and new people. It needs new skills and knowledge. We all resist change to some extent- to what extent- depends on the individual.

In many situations, you may face certain negative effects associated with success. They need not really be facts. Some of them may be your feelings born out of the way you think.

• Financial success may curtail spirituality.
• Career success (promotion) will increase responsibilities.
• Increased responsibilities can increase stress and tension resulting in health problems.
• Increased responsibilities may cause less time for your hobbies.
• Increased responsibilities may reduce your time with your family.
• Reduced family time may cause strained relationships.

How to get around these obstacles? What your thinking process must be in overcoming fear?

The first thing is to ask yourself- from where did I pick these beliefs? Are they true? How do I know?

Many of our beliefs are picked up along the way of our lives- from family members, friends, colleagues, bosses, neighbors, people on the road….some beliefs consciously and some unconsciously. We pick them up from our own emotional experiences and experiences of others.

I remember, during the early days of my job, my boss used to lament- ‘My God, this job drives me nuts… I am going mad with tension… There is so much to do and have to answer to so many people. Better to resign and go.’

I used to be really worried thinking what I would do when I reach his position. But I slowly learnt that he was over reacting. When I reached his position, I didn’t face any problems. In similar circumstances, overcoming fear doesn't need extra efforts

If your beliefs are based the emotional experiences and reactions of someone else, don't get carried away. You need to look into them carefully and reconsider. May be they are just beliefs, not facts. May be you can handle similar situations better or differently.

Consider your promotion as an example. Picture yourself stepping into the new office and sitting in the new chair. You started dealing with people and situations.
How do you feel? Instead of being happy, are you uncomfortable and tensed, because, you are afraid of the new responsibilities- dealing with different people and situations? You must be thinking- am I equipped to handle it? You may draw a wrong conclusion- I am not equipped. You start feeling tensed. This tension makes you avoid success. It is fear of success.

Does your next rung on the success ladder require new skills? Do you feel that the existing skills are not enough? Acquire new skills and improve the existing ones with education, training, research, or mentoring. Get ready in advance.

Success should make you feel good, not uncomfortable.

If you have the concept of- ‘to get this one, I have to lose the other one’- then, this fear of success sets in, because you really did not want to lose that other one. One part of you wants to go for it while the other part holds you back.

Your goal must be- ‘how do I get this, keeping the other one intact?’ When you reach that goal, it is the real success, which you will relish. That success is not tied to fear. It comes by overcoming fear.

The new situations are just transitional. With in a short time, you are going to adapt to the new environment. You also know that. From school to college, college to your first job, one job to another, marriage… those were all situational changes that tested your ability to adapt. But you went through all of them successfully. Why not this and the next one?

Overcoming Fear? Surely you can.

Overcoming Your Fear of Rejection and Ridicule

Overcoming Your Fear of the Unknown

Overcoming Your Fear of Public Performance

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